"This [is] life itself"

Nice little slideshow from Happiness Project author Gretchen Rubin here. I won't ruin the entire thing so you can go see it. But the titular line "this was life itself" shows up and it caught my eye. Why? Well, because I think all too often we ignore that fact. We ignore Rubin's sixth personal commandment of happiness, which to paraphrase, is that its the choices and journey, not the destination. This living thing we do daily is life itself. Sometimes I get the feeling people feel like living life isn't so great - they aren't happy because they don't have the life they want. And they don't just want another career or decision they could choose or undo, but some vague situation where they are free from the restraints of life itself. Its kinda hard to explain, but they are out of touch with what "life" is. They are ignoring reality. The kids, the job, the wife, the house. This is all "life." But sometimes its like people can't be happy, can't have a "life," until they are multimillionares who can do nothing but lie around all day and eat bon bons without worry. That, to me, ignores the fact that its the journey, that the choices, the kids, the job, the husband, the house, the good AND the bad - they are all "life."

Now, certianly, some of this comes with stress, and I'm not suggesting that sometimes people won't or shouldn't get angry or upset about each individual part. But I think sometimes people decide to get married, or have kids or they choose a job, and either it was the wrong choice (this is especially true, I find, in spouses and jobs, not so much with kids) or somewhere along the line, they forget why they chose these things. Life is all about these choices. But somewhere along the line it becomes routine and boring and not "life." But "this [is] life itself." Being unhappy with the "mundane" tasks ignores that its the process; that's what life is.

That's why I think life, every part of it and every choice, even the seemingly mundane, is heroic in nature. People often overlook the fact that every choice is somewhat of a moral decision: What do I want; what is best for me?

Quoting Ayn Rand:

"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute. "

Ignoring these questions, or blindly chosing without considering them, leads to unhappiness. So while the decision may not always seem big and important - like whether to rush into a burning building to save a baby - the reality is the 100s of little choices we make add up and can save our soul from being trapped in a small, dark, unhappy box. That's pretty heroic.

Alright, big finish with the Happiness Project article that initiated the entire post: For most of the choices above, you have to know yourself, and that's not as easy as it sounds. But its crucial, becuase its hard, very hard, to choose what makes you happy, what is best for you, if you don't know yourself, AND REALITY, and its pretty easy to think you do when you really don't. Especially if you are ignoring reality. Another heroic aspect: once you shut off reality in one place, it becomes increasingly easy to it in others. The cognitive dissonance is hard to handle at first, but you grow accustomed; then it spreads, and pretty soon, you're unhappy and so disconnected that you don't even know how to get back on the track to happiness.

* I owe a special debt of gratitude to Ayn Rand's Objectivist philosophy for much of this post and philosophy. Its my own take on it and I doubt hard-line Objectiviststs would agree with everything I posit or that its even Objectivism, but its largely built on her foundations.*