My hat, is a very very fine hat

The headline has to be sung to the tune of Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young to sound anything but arrogant.

So, as promised, here's a look at my new hat!

And from a different angle:

Hate it? I don't much care.

Maybe this is more your flavor: I also bought myself a kind of birthday present/necessity item (if you define necessity as the need to have like 100 of an item). A new tea cup.

It was the second one I picked out, after worrying that first one was too feminine. Tea stuff can be so girly sometimes. But this seemed masculine enough. Masculinish, at any rate, I suppose. And I like it; despite the fact that it appears to have, for no discernable reason, a Maple leafesque leaf on it. I'm familiar with tea leaves, and this one would be something I'm not all accustomed to seeing as a tea leaf. Maybe it is and I am just not aware. You can kinda see it above the large "a" on the cup. Its not the single, slender leaf that I usually associate as a tea leaf.

Anyway.

Reinventing the wheel

Another delayed post.

This from an analysis of the great Aristotle on a Stanford website:

The good of a human being must have something to do with being human; and what sets humanity off from other species, giving us the potential to live a better life, is our capacity to guide ourselves by using reason. If we use reason well, we live well as human beings; or, to be more precise, using reason well over the course of a full life is what happiness consists in. Doing anything well requires virtue or excellence, and therefore living well consists in activities caused by the rational soul in accordance with virtue or excellence.

And this from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project on Slate.com:

Act with energy. We think we ACT because of the way we FEEL, but often we FEEL because of the way we ACT. Trick yourself into feeling energetic by moving more quickly, pacing while you talk on the phone, and putting more energy into your voice.

Similar, me thinks.

Artists & happiness

Are artists naturally unhappy people? Does unhappiness in some way make you a better artist? And if I'm happy, what does that say about me and my chances of being a published artist?

I vote for no, no, nothing.

Not a very deep post, I grant you. But let me explain. I might or might not be getting sick. My back is certainly killing me for no apparent reason. I'm trying to write; alot (Update: and not all that successfully).

So, no, not very deep. But the source material is good, so you should check it out.

"This [is] life itself"

Nice little slideshow from Happiness Project author Gretchen Rubin here. I won't ruin the entire thing so you can go see it. But the titular line "this was life itself" shows up and it caught my eye. Why? Well, because I think all too often we ignore that fact. We ignore Rubin's sixth personal commandment of happiness, which to paraphrase, is that its the choices and journey, not the destination. This living thing we do daily is life itself. Sometimes I get the feeling people feel like living life isn't so great - they aren't happy because they don't have the life they want. And they don't just want another career or decision they could choose or undo, but some vague situation where they are free from the restraints of life itself. Its kinda hard to explain, but they are out of touch with what "life" is. They are ignoring reality. The kids, the job, the wife, the house. This is all "life." But sometimes its like people can't be happy, can't have a "life," until they are multimillionares who can do nothing but lie around all day and eat bon bons without worry. That, to me, ignores the fact that its the journey, that the choices, the kids, the job, the husband, the house, the good AND the bad - they are all "life."

Now, certianly, some of this comes with stress, and I'm not suggesting that sometimes people won't or shouldn't get angry or upset about each individual part. But I think sometimes people decide to get married, or have kids or they choose a job, and either it was the wrong choice (this is especially true, I find, in spouses and jobs, not so much with kids) or somewhere along the line, they forget why they chose these things. Life is all about these choices. But somewhere along the line it becomes routine and boring and not "life." But "this [is] life itself." Being unhappy with the "mundane" tasks ignores that its the process; that's what life is.

That's why I think life, every part of it and every choice, even the seemingly mundane, is heroic in nature. People often overlook the fact that every choice is somewhat of a moral decision: What do I want; what is best for me?

Quoting Ayn Rand:

"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute. "

Ignoring these questions, or blindly chosing without considering them, leads to unhappiness. So while the decision may not always seem big and important - like whether to rush into a burning building to save a baby - the reality is the 100s of little choices we make add up and can save our soul from being trapped in a small, dark, unhappy box. That's pretty heroic.

Alright, big finish with the Happiness Project article that initiated the entire post: For most of the choices above, you have to know yourself, and that's not as easy as it sounds. But its crucial, becuase its hard, very hard, to choose what makes you happy, what is best for you, if you don't know yourself, AND REALITY, and its pretty easy to think you do when you really don't. Especially if you are ignoring reality. Another heroic aspect: once you shut off reality in one place, it becomes increasingly easy to it in others. The cognitive dissonance is hard to handle at first, but you grow accustomed; then it spreads, and pretty soon, you're unhappy and so disconnected that you don't even know how to get back on the track to happiness.

* I owe a special debt of gratitude to Ayn Rand's Objectivist philosophy for much of this post and philosophy. Its my own take on it and I doubt hard-line Objectiviststs would agree with everything I posit or that its even Objectivism, but its largely built on her foundations.*

The Mind-emotion parallel

Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, being blogged on slate.com says...

Although we think we act because of the way we feel, in
fact, we often feel because of the way we act. For example, studies show that
even an artificially induced smile brings about happier emotions, and a recent
experiment suggested that people who use Botox are less prone to anger because
they can’t make angry faces.

Interesting. What else?

"Philosopher and psychologist William James explained: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” Although this “fake it ‘till you feel it” strategy might seem fake or inauthentic, I’ve found it to be almost creepily effective."

I hate this whole line of thinking that leads to the conclusion that actively choosing a path outside of your "instinct" or comfort zone means you are somehow fake, that you should "be who you are." Why not be who you want? What's creepy about actively choosing what you think is right rather than being affected by your upbringing?

I like the "action and feeling go together" part. Yeah, if you take the right actions, you will feel the right things.

It takes great presence of mind, and a lot of self-discipline, but whenever I can manage to act lighthearted or friendly or receptive to criticism or whatever is the opposite of my grouchy, gruff, defensive instinct in the moment, I really transform my mood.

Yes, exactly. It takes "a great presence of mind" and a lot of self-discipline. The key here is that it requires this work only at first. Man uses his mind for survival. To the extent that our choices further our survival, happiness and contentment are usually our default or "instinct" state. If we make choices that don't further our existance, our subconcious knows that our choices aren't furthering survival and the resulting contradiction creates tension, conflict and feelings of unease. Rational decision makers, people who actually consider a problem and make a reasoned choice, seldom are uneasy. They may agonize over a decision, both before and after making it, but they seldom have an overwhelming sense of "unease." They know they can use reason to correct most, if not all, situations they face. Unease comes from knowing that you don't have, or more accurately, don' t utilize, the means for their own survival. Thus, they survive mostly because we have advanced where we far enough from death that each decision isn't a mortal one.

Back to the original quote. As you employ the proper reaction more and more, as you put the proper thinking into effect again and again, you'll find that its becomes your default "instinct," and not that gruff part.

Aristotle's on point thoughts have been summed up thusly: What we need, in order to live well, is a proper appreciation of the way in which such goods as friendship, pleasure, virtue, honor and wealth fit together as a whole. In order to apply that general understanding to particular cases, we must acquire, through proper upbringing and habits, the ability to see, on each occasion, which course of action is best supported by reasons.

And it was Rand who said "Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." Of course, as I explained, "values" can't be just anything. They have to flow from the furthering of our existance.

This led Rand to conclude that "Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values."

Are you more Tigger-ish or Eeyore-ish?

I'm more of a "Tigger" type.

I recently ran across this quote from a respectable figure ...

"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination"
~ Mark Twain

It made me cringe. I was kind of working up to a post about it, but hadn't really fleshed it all out and didn't want to write about it right then. Partly because of this, and partly because I didn't want it to be a rant against Twain, or the quote, or a rant at all. I wanted it to be a more disciplined analysis, I guess. Something real and solid. And real. So what did I do? I added pics of stupid cartoons, that's what.

Then I (re)stumbled upon Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project at the always excellent Slate.com. She spent years looking at and studying happiness for her book and hypothises that its a myth that happy people are annoying & stupid. I can't encourage you enough to read this first one. It notes that happiness has nearly everything going for it as far as outlook, friendliness, success, life fullfillment, work success, etc. Yet people still make comments like this one...

"Happy people are idiots." Thank you Charles de Gaulle - you idiot.

Rubin asks...

"I often wonder why happiness has such a bad reputation. It's more pleasant to be happy, and it's more pleasant to be around happy people, and it's more challenging to be happier than to be less happy—why is happiness so often maligned and seen as lazy and easy?"

Anyway, I pretty much agree with her. Being unhappy, unfulfilled or disgruntled is always cast as the "cool" attitude. Its Leo DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road, its the theme of a host of suburban angst movies starting in my mind with, but I'm sure much earlier, American Beauty. Meanwhile, the happy guy is always borderline mentally damaged, ala Forest Gump. But happiness is a much harder state to achieve, especially in these trying times. As Rubin asks, why the bad rap?

A few reasons, really. Its bad form to brag. Since happiness is like money - while distained its still sought after as more ideal than not - its not polite to point it out that you've got vaults full of the stuff stored at the bank. As a corrollary, happy people are by their nature content with themselves and probably don't find a need to point it out.

Unhappy people on the other hand, have a natural, or learned, disposition to see the negative. Negative infers conflict, and great conflict makes for great books, movies, plays, et al. Thus, the most unhappy person gets an audience and viola, he's a respected voice on nearly any topic he wishes to spout off on. Happiness included. Twain, for instance, was a great writer and sometimes wise thinker. But honestly, what gives him any rep as far as happiness goes? Quiet honestly, the quote alone pretty much exhibits his lack of familiarity with happiness. As does De Gaulles.

I'll end with these two things....
A) look around you. Things, no matter how bad they are, could be worse, both on a macro, and generally, on a micro level. We live in a prosperous, thriving time, even considering the recent downturn. There is almost NO circumstance where you couldn't have it worse, either today, or sometime in the past. (Wow - happy people really are idiots! And annoying! lol.)

B) the remainder of the Rubin's 10 myths..

people are unable to raise their level of happiness
Venting anger relieves it
Insisting on "the best" makes you happier
A treat will cheer you up
Money can't buy happiness
doing "random acts of kindness" brings happiness
"you'll be happy as soon as..."
Spending time alone will make you happy
Its selfish to try to be happier.

I'll probably blog these more over the next couple weeks, but that's it for now.

*** The images in this post are not my own. These images may be protected by copyright laws. I'm probably in violation of one copyright law or another for using these images. Not something I relish or support, but if someone confirms that I am, or asks that I take them down, I will. Right now, I'm considering them used under the "fair use" doctrine and thus legal. ***