Maybe "Me Run With Scissors One Day"

Finished "Me Talk Pretty One Day." I'm split in my thoughts. Good, but not nearly as good as Burroughs. Though very, very similar in style. Both are odd, gay, alcohol/drug dependent, possibly mentally-deficient individuals. Though on this last, its definitely Sedaris in a landslide.

I'm mixed on another area as well. A part of me is jealous. They tell these great personal stories. Some of that is being able to package stories well and fill in the normally fuzzy details with outrageous thoughts; and some appears to be, I think, great insight into themselves and the world around them. I think I have stories that could be funny and book worthy, if I was more introspective and embellished the fuzzy areas a bit. You know, added insights and what have you. I have a few bouncing around in my head. Maybe I'll post one someday.

But another part of me wonders this as well: Is that really insight that Burroughs and Sedaris have, or is it actually, pretty much the opposite? Do they have these stories because they never really did any introspection as they went along in life and thus have crazy, unreasonable stories stemming from issues that any other normal person would have worked out?

I guess it is insight of a kind, gained in looking back on years of absolute blindness.

I think some of my problem is that I've never been that "blind" to myself. Maybe being gay, and having to keep that secret, keeps you shut off from yourself, leading to great revelations later on. Maybe. Maybe the alcohol dependence is all tied up in that. Maybe. It is interesting that both are gay and addicts.

I just feel that, if you go around saying "candlestick" to everyone you meet in France because its the only French word you know, its a good story, but its either heavily embellished or you are kind of an annoying moron. I just wouldn't do that because, well, I have the sense not too, frankly. At least I'd like to think so.

And frankly, for all the glowing descriptions of Hugh in the book, he's either so severely damaged that he can only keep Sedaris, or he's a saint. It's funny to read, but I have a hunch I'd kill Sedaris if I lived with him. Maybe that's part of it. I tend to shy from that level of borderline "needs to institutionalized" behavior and thinking and thus don't have the crazy stories I would otherwise.

And that probably ruins lots of my stories. I think I could be a straight, married, normal, well-adjusted Burroughs, if I was willing to not be so well-adjusted. If I let my 3 on a 10 scale stories spiral out of control they could become 8 on a 10 scale stories.