Secrets II

Since I got taken to task recently for posting a not very satisfying post on secrets, and since I really do feel like I might have something to say somewhere deep in the mysts of my brain, I'm going to try to again.

First off, I really do think most secrets arise from attempts to hide either our true selves, or something society deems improper. I'm excluding of course secrets like "Don slept with that stewardess while his pregnant wife was home alone" secrets.*

A person who is perfectly comfortable with himself/herself wouldn't need secrets, I would imagine. Am I wrong on this?

My thinking is that if you are perfectly, 100% comfortable with yourself, you won't have anything that is a secret. Because what would be the point of keeping the secret? If you're comfortable with all your actions, if they are based on your morals and derived from conscious thought, what would there be to hide? Maybe a bad outcome. But then again, I'm not sure covering a bad outcome is exactly a "secret." If you suggest a course of action at work and it fails, not bringing up the fact that it was your idea isn't a secret so much as good PR work. If my book never gets published, I'm not going to advertise that fact. That doesn't make the book a secret.

No, secrets are usually related to actions that DON'T portray you as you "think" you should be. Either because they don't fit with your conscious thoughts, or because they do, but society finds them reprehensible and you aren't willing to take on that battle.

For instance, I'm fairly reserved about my Libertarian status with people. Libertarians (both rightfully and wrongfully) have somewhat of a bad reputation as nut jobs and a fringe element. Announcing your a Libertarian seems to often fall somewhere between announcing you believe whole-hardily in aliens having visited earth and announcing you support the Nazi party. Refuting that error takes too damn long, so its just easier to not say anything, let people slowly become accustomed to what I believe, and then one day when it comes up surprise them with it.
This especially fun since I pull the economic part of the Republican party and the social part of the Democratic party, leading followers of both to think I'm with them; until I'm not.

But that's not really a secret. Its more like the "work" scenario above. Still, that's a pretty thin line, because lets face it, child molesters, nudists, partner swappers and those guys who participate in very, very odd animal-love videos online aren't merely participating in a "failure to disclose the truth," they are quite literally, holding a secret. Its a thin line, and its thin enough that I don't know that I see it all the time.

Now, if I were an honestly an anarchist, might I be keeping a secret by not declaring it? I mean, - sorta like being a nudist - the looks you'd get and the explanations needed would be quite tiring. So you'd probably not tell everyone. Is that a secret, or a lack of disclosure? I tend toward secret on that one.

Both (three if you include my Libertarianism - but I generally don't for various reasons that will remain secret for neither reason 1 nor 2) are socially unacceptable on a level that keeps them secret. However, a person who was truly self-secure, and unhampered by public opinion, would probably have no problem disclosing them.

One last thought: The post that got this going (see my last post for the link, as I'm too lazy too) mentioned that a peer suggested she had no secrets. That is just the kind of thing someone with secrets would say in a group. The nature of secrets prevents their reveal to all but the best trusted, let alone to large groups at once.

It sounds like a case of "thou dost protest too much" to me. Someone who truly had no secrets wouldn't seem like the type that would have to announce it, even in a discussion. They are open and secure and it probably doesn't occur to them. By announcing they have no secrets, it seems more likely to me that either A) they do or B) they do and just don't realize it.

Sorta along the same lines of "always be suspicious of those who tell you how moral they are, because those who are truly moral don't feel the need to constantly be blabbing about it."

* Bonus points if you get the reference; which you can spend in the Points store. Good luck with that.