So, after finishing Feed and posting a little about it, I read an article about how Oprah's television spot could be filled, but the real question was who would fill her spiritual leader role.
The article noted some reality chick - Bethany - with whom I'm passingly familiar. It noted that she has a self-help book that counsels that "big changes come from small choices." It's a mantra that I love. To often the really big problems in our lives seem overwhelming, but could be changed by some small change, if we'd only see the chain linking the two. This is especially true before all the consequences of a choice have played out. Does this make sense? So, choice A, while seemingly insignificant, ends up being a very bad outcome B.
A simple thing like complaining about your spouse to a coworker about a "male" behavior, while it seems small, dominoes. Since the conduct is "male," its not changeable, so you don't try. You end up complaining to others instead of working on it with the spouse. This builds resentment both ways, as the complainer hates more and more conduct and the complainee feels henpecked. This results in more unchangeable conduct. Soon, a marriage lays irretrievably damaged and both hate each other.
Anyway, this got me thinking: there are probably more self-help books than one could count. Most, or at least a large number, seem to offer good, if not always helpful, advice (or is it the other way around?). Yet people will tell you we are more dysfunctional, trend addicted, media led, status conscious sheep then ever.
So, are the books not working? Are the books working but only to slight affect, and if so, is that really "working"? Are we actually getting better (whatever that means)? Are we getting better, but not at a rate that compensates for the negatives in the society and culture around us?
Maybe the books are simply wrong about their advice, though I'm disinclined to believe this. I think it probably goes deeper than that.
Maybe I'll try to come up with an answer in a future post.
I don't think it's necessarily a matter of us being worse, but we're more honest with our feelings (and problems) than we were 50 years ago. Some problems have escalated, I'm sure, but be honest, how many people who NEED a self help book actually read one? And of those who do, who actually follow what the person said to make changes in their life? We've all seen it with new year's resolutions, they just don't last. And if you do make changes (even small ones) a lot of people backslide or get bored and stop making additional ones.
ReplyDeleteAnd by some people I mean me :D